In preparing for writing this blog, I had to go through a lot of old Facebook posts about what happened each day. Nobody could've prepared me for the emotions and heartbreak that would cause. Everything about those days came flooding back to my memory and it was much harder than I expected; but I did it- and then I took a break.
We are currently just over 2 years into this journey and while some days it we have a routine down pretty well, there are others that hit the heart and brings back all the devastation I felt when we first realized this is our life. His chances of walking and having function past the injury level isn't zero, but they aren't great either. What will our life look like in 5 or 10 years is something we try not to think about too much as it increases anxiety and isn't a healthy place to be right now. There still are so many unknowns.
So many people have reached out and supported us, asking how we are managing. They don't understand the hope and joy we continue to live with. Friends, there is only one Hope and because He never changes, we live with the joy only God can provide. If you are like, "Lady, what are you talking about?", keep reading.
As a Christian, I believe that God is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. In the Bible it tells us that He is good, with
us always and unchanging. Since I put every ounce of trust in Him and what He says, this holds true whether things are amazing and good, and all's right in our world, or if we are in the darkest times of life. When everything seems to be going wrong, we cannot understand what's going on, why this awful thing has happened to us- He is still good, with us and unwavering. I also believe that everything that happens in our lives has a purpose to bring us closer to Him and give Him the glory. How, we may never know on earth. And that's ok.
I have had times were I questioned everything. I was angry that our lives were turned upside down in a heartbeat. I still have days that everything feels so unfair and hard. I have cried out to Him to fix it for me. To make things normal again. To tell me what the future holds for us. I've prayed hard for what I wanted, telling the God of the universe what to do. Who am I to tell Him what's best for me? Once I was done, God answered me. I felt comfort and heard a whisper telling me He's got it all in His control. There was peace again in my soul.
Does this mean that I never struggle with the realities of our life
now? Absolutely not. I am not perfect. There will always be a grief over the life we lost and over the road blocks that are inevitable in our current journey. They will be frustrating and heartbreaking. However, God's not done with our story. I can and will fall back on the promises that I know will last for eternity. I will praise in the valleys and on the mountaintops. I truly believe that He will make ALL things new in His time.
God is good all the time. All the time God is good. Of this we are a witness.